i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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