We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
