i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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