I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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