It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
