was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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