wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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