We won't sleep together?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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