Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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