i permit you to call me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
