i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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