Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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