sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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