I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
