it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
