Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
