How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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