Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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