No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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