the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
