Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
