Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
