I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
