Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.