Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.

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(709): just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq. http://tfl.nu/wl24

Replies (16) Good night (4911) Bad night (608)
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(518): View more from New York

I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.

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(518): I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok. http://tfl.nu/zi5p

Replies (7) Good night (695) Bad night (3110)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house

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(931): I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house http://tfl.nu/8rln

Replies (18) Good night (911) Bad night (5243)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire

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(847): I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire http://tfl.nu/ncts

Replies (10) Good night (5025) Bad night (1549)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

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(412): when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home http://tfl.nu/u8cd

Replies (8) Good night (3045) Bad night (946)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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(416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i

Replies (6) Good night (2160) Bad night (1675)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.

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(717): totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet. http://tfl.nu/uf41

Replies (9) Good night (4976) Bad night (603)
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(602): View more from Arizona

the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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(602): the head trauma was worth the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/e9mc

Replies (12) Good night (2202) Bad night (818)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?

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(440): Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating? http://tfl.nu/ubob

Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (1021)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level

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(484): Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level http://tfl.nu/da15

Replies (2) Good night (1732) Bad night (545)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight

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(508): And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight http://tfl.nu/ebf5

Replies (6) Good night (1827) Bad night (522)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

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(571): I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone. http://tfl.nu/igvc

Replies (9) Good night (1081) Bad night (644)
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(254): View more from Texas

Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.

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(254): Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed. http://tfl.nu/8cn8

Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (358)
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(708): View more from Illinois

it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus

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(708): it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus http://tfl.nu/ryiv

Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (261)
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(940): View more from Texas

I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.

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(940): I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/nfq7

Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (224)

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