I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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