My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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