all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Randomize