Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
