do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy