I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's get the cat blown out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend