Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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