can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
