I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
