I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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