Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
