i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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