Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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