I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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