A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
we're so committed to being not committed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
