You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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