would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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