I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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