Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
