at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
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P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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