im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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