Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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