you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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