a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
