That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
