apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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