i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
