Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
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Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
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I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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