We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
