"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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