You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
