he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
