Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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