I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I love having hate sex.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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