Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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