OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Randomize