My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
