So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
