I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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