fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
