We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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