I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
