By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
