Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He did a backflip because drugs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
