Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
